Memories
by Lady Sasshomaru
Summary: Kikyo reflects on her past life and the events that took place


Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or ''Memory'' from Cats

Slowly, without making a sound, a figure clad in red and white walks, almost gliding,  
down a path with the moon high above her head in the sky. Bow in hand, quiver with  
10 arrows slung across her back, she stops, looking around the familiar forest. Her  
feet seem to take her somewhere without her even realizing it. She continues on till  
she sees something a few hundred yards away. A tree. She goes to it, resting her  
hand against the bark, closing her eyes and remembering.

_Midnight. Not a sound from the pavement.  
Has the moon lost her memory?  
She is smiling alone.  
In the lamplight the withered leaves collect at my feet  
And the wind begins to moan._

Mem'ry. All alone in the moonlight  
I can smile at the old days,  
I was beautiful then.  
I remember the time I knew what happiness was,  
Let the mem'ry live again.

She had known what happiness was. Inuyasha. Knowing him, knowing she loved him  
and he loved her was true happiness. How long had it been? Fifty years. She had  
been dead for fifty years. And now she was cursed to roam the land of the living once  
more, but not be alive herself. She wanted so much to be alive again and be with  
Inuyasha. But she knew she never could. Kagome had most of her soul, but she  
didn't resent her reincarnation for it, only envied her.

She ran her hand along the bark, her fingers coming across two indentations. This is  
where the arrows had pinned Inuyasha so many years ago. But she shook her head  
walking away from the tree. She couldn't live in the past anymore, couldn't hate  
Inuyasha anymore. She could no longer go back to her old life. She couldn't be  
guardian of the Shikon No Tama or of the village she was born in. Should she just  
wander the earth, then? Helping when she was needed, try to collect shards, and  
hopefully defeat Naraku? Not have a purpose? No, she had to make a new life for  
herself. Even the undead should have a purpose.

_Ev'ry street lamp seems to beat  
A fatalistic warning.  
The someone mutters and a street lamp gutters  
And soon it would be morning._

Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise,  
I must think of a new life  
And I musn't give in.  
When the dawn comes tonight will be a memory, too  
And a new day will begin.

She had been walking for a while, when all of a sudden she recognized her  
surroundings. This was the field Inuyasha and herself had sat in so many times, even  
when they were enemies. This was also the field where Naraku disguised as  
Inuyasha had fatally wounded her, stealing the jewel. It was close to dawn. Sitting in  
the field, memories flooded back to her. She remembered sitting there, like she  
was now, while Inuyasha sat in a tree, in the beginning from afar off, but then as they  
began to talk, he came closer every time, till he sat in the tree just above her head.

She remembered they would talk about why Inuyasha wanted the jewel so much.  
Because he wanted to be a full demon. She had secretly hoped he would want to  
become human. Then, the jewel would be gone, and she could live out the rest of her  
life as an ordinary woman, and be with the man she loved. When she finally decided  
to voice her wishes, he had agreed.

Then a not so pleasant memory came back to her. Inuyasha decided to become  
human for her, and she was to bring him the jewel. Waiting in this very field, jewel in  
hand, Naraku, the half demon born of the bandit, Onigumo, selling his soul to many  
demons, disguised himself as Inuyasha. Sneaking up behind her, he wounded her,  
and the jewel fell from her hand. She reached for it, but he stepped on her hand.  
She would never forget looking up at him and hearing him say ''I have no desire  
whatsoever to become human. But I will take the Shikon Jewel. Thanks'' Then he  
just picked up the jewel and left her for dead. The only thing she could yell was ''You  
traitor! Traitor!''

_Touch me. It's so easy to leave me  
All alone with the mem'ry  
Of my days in the sun.  
If you touch me you'll understand what happiness is.  
Look a new day had begun._

Morning. She could sense that Inuyasha and is friends were near. She must leave  
now, before they discover she was there, or find her. She left, all alone, with nothing  
but her memories. Memories of being alive. Memories of being with Inuyasha.  
Memories of being happy. That's all she had left, for how could she ever be truly  
happy again?

She heard something behind her, and turned around, seeing her reincarnation  
standing there, about 40 yards away. Neither moved, only standing there, watching  
one another. Smiling a genuine smile at Kagome, she just turned and left, leaving  
the younger girl dumbfounded in her place.

She couldn't help but think about her on her way back to the group. ''I don't think  
she's at all bad. She must be suffering a great deal. She died a horrible death,   
convinced it was her true love that killed her, only to be awoken 50 years later, forced  
to be among living people, when she couldn't be alive herself. But she smiled at me;  
she looked happy, or as close to happiness as she could be. I think she had in her  
life known true happiness. Inuyasha's probably right. That's probably not  
the real her, only a clay imitation. I wish you peace the rest of your days in this world  
that you were forced to come back to a second time.''

She whispered as she watched the girl turn and leave, ''Take care of him, Kagome.  
I am destined to forever wander in this world that no longer belongs to me.  
I am no longer Kikyo.''


End file.
